Journal of an Urbane Gorilla

You say ‘toe-mate-oh’ I say ‘tah-mah-toe’ or how to be ever so rude in Italian

It’s interesting that know that no matter high tech they get, and no matter how much money is poured into them, the beautiful boats of the America’s Cup class are dependent on the same thing: wind, and plenty of it. There wasn’t enough of that commodity on Friday to get some of those expensive babies on to the water. The North course was do-able, but the South course just sputtered out.

In the end, only 6 boats were able to race. I know what this means for me: Big Guy and Grams will probably wander downstairs around 3 AM to follow tomorrow’s race on the web. Then, they’ll make coffee and the aroma will float up the stairs and that’ll be it for me. I’m positively Pavlovian when it comes to the scent of those wonderful beans. The minute that smell hits my nostrils, I float downstairs like a somnambulist.

I was noodling around the America’s cup site and I found this photo of the Luna Rossa team. It made me laugh and then I showed it to Grams. She glanced at it and said, “Oh that’s nice,” then she did a double take, “Ohmygosh! How rude!”

This is where cultures clash. A sign made with the thumb and forefinger, which means “okay” in the U.S., doesn’t mean the same thing at all in Italy. As a matter of fact, it means something very rude in Italy.

Grams’ favourite non cross-culture sign in the reverse Victory sign. You know the one: it’s when you show someone a ‘V’ made by separating the forefinger and middle finger and holding them up. In the U.K. if the sign is given with the palm sign toward the other person, then it does mean ‘Victory.’ However, if it’s given with the palm facing the giver; then it’s something truly rude. Let your mind go crazy, I’m not going to say it. The British call it the 2-finger salute. In the U.S., using more economy, it’s done as the 1-finger salute. So, if a Brit gives you the ‘Victory’ sign, check to see which way the palm is facing. Check out pictures of Winston Churchill from WW II where he’s giving the backwards Victory sign to Mr. Hitler; well that’s what Winnie meant. Now you’re in on the joke. ‘Nuff said.

A dopo e Moochas Smoochas,

Please give what you can to Médecins sans Frontières (Doctors without Borders) and support Kiva.

And, of course

平和 に 働 き

(hewa ni hataraki: work for peace)

Update on Vuitton Cup

This is what Big Guy and Grams call, “exciting.” I call it foolhardy. Luna Rossa is hanging in there at 3rd place, but they’ve got more competition now. BMW Oracle, however, has blown everyone out of the water: so far, they haven’t lost a race.

It’s kind of like the presidential race – you have some early frontrunners and then there’s the rest of the field. Luna Rossa did beat New Zealand today. That’s saying something.

Hang in there Luna Rossa!

A dopo e Moochas Smoochas,

Please give what you can to Médecins sans Frontières (Doctors without Borders) and support Kiva.

And, of course

平和 に 働 き

(hewa ni hataraki: work for peace)

La Luna Rossa, Il Sole Rosso, and so it goes

A few years back, Grams was cheering on a challenger in the America’s Cup races named ‘Il Moro de Venezia.’ She still proudly wears her ‘Il Moro’ tee-shirt. The spunky little ‘Moro’ had won the Vuitton cup, but lost to ‘America3’ in the America’s Cup. Tragedy followed when the ‘il Moro’s’ owner committed suicide; not because of that loss but for other losses. Grams’ heart was broken and she feared that the Italians would never mount another serious challenge. Well, here we are in another America’s Cup year and there are 3, count ‘em 3, Italian challengers in the race.

Yesterday, I noticed that scientists had found an earth-like planet circling a red dwarf sun. When I told this to Grams, she got very excited, “ It’s a sign, Gweeds!” I had my usual snappy comeback, “huh???” “Don’t you see? That’s ‘il Sole Rosso’ and ‘la Luna Rossa’* is doing so well in the Vuitton round robins! It’s a sign!” I don’t know about that, but this spunky little planet (Gliese 581c) sounds as if it might have weather not unlike ours on earth. Also, it appears to have a lot of the stuff that supports life, like water. The scientists aren’t sure whether it rotates, so the weather might have a certain sameness about it (i.e. hot on one side and cold on the other). Boy, Carl Sagan must be smiling somewhere.

Grams gets very superstitious around the America’s Cup time. She crosses her fingers (her eyes are always crossed, but that’s another story), makes wishes on eyelashes, and any other odd thing she can think of. Now, she’s decided that Luna Rossa is going to win because an earth-like planet has been found hanging about a red dwarf sun. I don’t know what to think about that, but I’d warn all chickens to hold onto your wishbones.

Now, this strange planet reminds me of the planet Tralfamadore, where Billy Pilgrim ends up in ‘Slaughterhouse Five’ when he becomes unstuck in time. If you’ve never read ‘Slaughterhouse Five,’ then you need to. That’s advice from the Gweeds. It’s one of my faves. Grams says that the book taught her how to laugh at death. I think that she means it taught her that death is a process. In ‘Slaughterhouse,’ Kurt Vonnegut shows how life and death are cyclical. My personal favourite moment is when Billy’s obese wife crashes her equally obese Cadillac into the emergency room at hospital where Billy’s been taken because he’s had a heart attack. “I’m coming, Billy! I’m coming!” she’s yelling as she crashes into the hospital wall. He lives, she dies. And so it goes.

Today Luna Rossa held onto 3rd place in the Vuitton round robins with 13 points. BMW Oracle is first with 15 points, followed by Emirates Team New Zealand with 14 points. I hope you didn’t put any moolah on the China Team boat. At this point the Chinese have 1 lowly little point. I’d start humming, “A Slow Boat to China,” but that would be too cruel.

A dopo e Moochas Smoochas,

Please give what you can to Médecins sans Frontières (Doctors without Borders) and support Kiva.

And, of course

平和 に 働 き

(hewa ni hataraki: work for peace)

*“That’s the ‘Red Sun’ and the ‘Red Moon’ is doing so well . . .”

Trim yer jib and get ready to hike out!

Well, it’s that time again: the America’s Cup has started. Actually, it’s the Louis Vuitton Cup round robins that have started. On race days, in our humble abode, we eat, drink, think, sleep, and talk sailing. Well, Big Guy and Grams talk sailing. As you know, I don’t do the sailing thing. Not a big fan of water sports is the Gweeds. I suspect that it’s a genetic pre-disposition. Grams says that’s nonsense, but I’m sure that I do much better on terra firma.

On the first day of the Vuitton round robins, Oracle (USA) and Luna Rossa (Italy) both won both of their races, so they’re both in 1st place. Grams always cheers for an Italian team (she has 3 to choose from this time around). Big Guy just likes a good race. I like the idea that we can look at it on the telly and not get wet.

During America’s Cup years, sailing is added to the excitement of the Tour de France. Then, counting the baseball season and we’re off to a sports-filled summer. It seems that when there’s an America’s Cup, Big Guy and Grams are inspired to sail more often. I’ll wave them off from the shore. Usually, I wait in the car listening to my iPod and reading travel books. Grams has tried every ploy to get me into their boat, but I will not go. It’s a wise Gweeds who knows his limitations.

Of course, the Tour de France inspires Grams (and the rest of the world it seems) to go racing about on her bike. You’ll remember all the spills she took last summer; well this time around it was Big Guy who took the first fall of the season. We were on our way to meet Grams on her way home when Big Guy took at turn into a driveway a little too fast. He got his right knee and chin scuffed. As usual I flew off into a bush.

Grams went into Dr. Mom mode when we got home. Big Guy put his leg up on the counter and I hopped up hoping for some TLC too. She got out the alcohol and a huge bandage. Of course, she gave him the magic kisses. That always works for me. I didn’t have any physical damage, but when I cleared my throat and did my Bambi eyes, she came over and gave me kisses too.

When it comes to baseball, Grams likes it because it’s basically a game of statistics: that’s her game. Big Guy, Henri and I like baseball because we’re guys. So, there’s something for everyone in our pied à terre when it comes to baseball.

In a few weeks Henri will arrive. I’ll be getting busy planning adventures for our fall trip and hiding out from Grams when she goes on her Tours de Terroir, and from all of them when they decide to go sailing. I will be there for every ball game though. I’m in my happy place.

A dopo e Moochas Smoochas,

Please give what you can to Médecins sans Frontières (Doctors without Borders) and support Kiva.

And, of course

平和 に 働 き

(hewa ni hataraki: work for peace)

The Road to Nowhere

We took a little road trip to Lompoc, along the central coast. Big Guy had an idea that we could go to this little beach were we had gone so often before. It’s on a little spit of land next to where the Santa Ynez River empties out into the Pacific. The trains go right over the spot on a trestle that straddles each side of the river. There’s a place to picnic and even barbeque. We usually pack a lunch and after eating we walk under the train trestle to the beach.

From March to September there are signs everywhere to watch out for the nesting snowy plovers. Most of the dunes are roped off, just in case you forget. Grams loves the roar of the ocean at this beach. Because it’s a west-facing beach, there’s a lot of wave action.

Well, this time when we went to turn on to the road to get to the picnic area, the gate was locked and there was big sign, “Road flooded.” Big Guy drove up to the top of the bluff over-looking the road and we looked down. Sure enough the road disappeared into the water. Since one of Grams more irrational fears is driving into the water (she freaks out at the thought. Don’t ask, I don’t get it), she couldn’t look more than a few secs.

We drove on to a place just east of where we were. It turned out there was a way to get to the beach from there. That’s where I took this pic of the little beach abode. It’s not much, but we call it ‘home.’ Don’t laugh, to get a place like this along the central California coast, you’d have to pay over a million bucks. Of course Grams is certain that the ocean levels are rising. You couldn’t pay her to live on the beach. Her problem is that she can’t stand to be too far from the ocean, so we live on a bluff above the Pacific. “Don’t worry, Gweeds, soon enough it’ll be ocean-front property,” she laughs.

Since we hadn’t packed a lunch, we went into Lompoc for lunch. I had found us a place that looked good on the web before we left home. It was called, “Sugar Magnolias” and it was very good. Healthy veggie food and great lemon tarts.

After lunch we went looking for the murals that Lompoc is well-known for. I loved this one. Lompoc was settled by temperance folks and this mural is about the evils of demon rum. Isn’t that guy great? Needless to say, Lompoc isn't temperate anymore.

A dopo e Moochas Smoochas,

Please give what you can to Médecins sans Frontières (Doctors without Borders) and support Kiva.

And, of course

平和 に 働 き

(hewa ni hataraki: work for peace)