What’s the picture? Look again, yes it’s a toilet made out of Legos.* Why a loo? Of course, you know it must be an embarrassing story about our Grams. Actually it’s two stories about a lesson not learned.
When the Grams was young she and her friend, Kathy Pierce, were at a restaurant called the Wagon Wheel. Now, I find that funny in itself: the Wagon Wheel, but I digress. They went to the ladies. There were two conveniences in the room. Kathy went into the first one; Grams went over to the second one. The door to the loo was one of those accordion ones – it wasn’t quite closed all the way. Our dear Grams, figuring that this meant that the facility was free, pulled the door open. Yes, there was an occupant, knickers around ankles, horrified. Screams and apologies, well you can imagine.
Unfortunately, when Grams and Kathy left the ladies, they burst into gales of laughter. The lesson was not learned: knock first before entering. It would take 45 years, but this hubris would eventually catch up with the Grams. At a later stage in life it would shame her no end.
Okay, lap/dissolve and it’s Wales in 2004. Grams, Big Guy, Marian, Emlyn and I were on a day trip. We stopped in a market town and, after dipping in to each and every stall, Marian and Grams announced that it was time to eat. I had to agree. Sitting down sounded good to all of us.
We ordered our meals at the counter and then Grams said, “I think I’ll spend a penny.” Off to the loo she went. Now, I have only her word for the next part, because all we heard were the screams.
As Grams tells it: she approached the loo. She saw that there was a choice of two, opposite each other. One had an outline of a man, the other a woman. The men’s was closed, but the sliding door on the women’s was not hooked. So, our dear Grams, figuring that this meant that the facility was free slides it open, with gusto.
Well, of course there was a woman there, knickers around ankles. This time it was an elderly lady, good friend of the owner. She was scared out of her wits. Grams was horrified. She was afraid that she had killed the woman. Much fuss was made. Grams was very apologetic. Emlyn, Big Guy, and I were laughing into our napkins. Marian was as horrified as Grams.
If Grams had learned her lesson at the Wagon Wheel, all of this Sturm und Drang could have been avoided. However, our Grams is not one to learn her lesson the first time. Or the second. Or the third. Will she knock first now? I wonder.
But we love her anyway. Besides, she’s always good for a laugh.
Please give what you can to Médecins sans Frontières (Doctors without Borders).
*Grams says that the Lego loo must have been made by males: the seat is up.